Welcome to the Extreme Bad Poetry Society. If you have been following our group, this is iteration 6.0 of this website. Please check out selections which include Bad Poetry By Celebrities, an updated Reader Submission section, and new additions by founding EBPS members.
The Extreme Bad Poetry Society was started by a group of aerospace employees (circa 1998) who followed the precepts expounded by Kathryn Petras and Ross Petras in their book Very Bad Poetry. To quote these two authors, to write bad poetry requires a "wooden ear for words, a penchant for sinking into sentimentality, a bullheaded inclination to stuff too many syllables or words into a line or a phrase," indeed to write incompetently.
We can find some remarkable traits in bad poems:
What we originally wanted was not Very Bad Poetry but very bad poetry for the Nineties
- hence Extreme Bad Poetry. Now that it's the next century,
our objectives and desires have not matured; not even slightly. we
occasionally post updates to the site, keeping in mind that our objectives
remain firmly in 1997.
As our first example, Zimmie takes Rodgers and Hammerstein's own example of bad poetry and, in a McCartneyesque twist, took a bad poem and made it worse.
Doh! A sound made by Homer S.
Ray, a singer with the Kinks
My, with Lai, is in "Veet-Nam"
Fa goes with -La-La-La-La La-La La La.
Sow, a spread of grain on land.
Law, ignore at your own risk,
Tee, a shirt some wear in bed,
Now we're an octave above Doh!
no un: An inferior poet.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Today’s word makes me feel like I shoulda stayed in bed,
I got nuthin’ that rhymes with red.
Said zimmie, the well know poetaster
I know I can create havoc much faster
If I take pen in hand,
And write an equation that’s banned,
We’ll have a numerical disaster
There was a man from Ke Song
Who complained that words were too long
So he cut them short
With a huff and a snort
And headed to sea ere long
I give it a high (or is that low) grade for being extremely bad poetry