The Lewinski/Kaczynsky Limerick Challenge

Imagine my delight when an email message came across my screen that issued the following challenge:

Subject: Limerick Challenge

Requirements: to use the name Lewinsky and Kaczynsky in a limerick.

There was no way the EBPS could ignore such a summons to create. What succeeds this introduction is a mixture of the original examples interspersed with various responses from EBPS members, whose identities are not revealed to protect the guilty.

There once was a girl named Lewinski
Who lied about a Presidential chewinski
If Starr gets his way
And she won't betray
She'll be soon shackin' up with Kaczynsky

Said Bill, the U.S. Presidentsky,
To his intern, Monica Lewinsky,
"I'd like you to play,
In a rhythmic way,
'Till my willie goes 'BOOM!' like Kaczynsky."

In February, the President said to Lewinsky:
"We both know, my dear, I've asked you to lick me",
Thus, you must lie to Starr
or I'll send you afar
with a little package from our friend, Mr. Kaczynsky

Said Slick Willie to intern Lewinsky:
"You make me forget 'bout Kaczynsky,
But 'twould be more fun by far
If that guy Kenneth Starr
Wasn't such a friggin' buttinsky!"

There once was a gal named Lewinsky
Who played on a flute like Stravinsky
'Twas "Hail to the Chief" on this flute made of beef
that stole the front page from Kaczynsky.

Said Bill Clinton to young Ms. Lewinsky
We don't want to leave clues like Kaczynsky,
Since you look such a mess, use the hem of your dress
And wipe that stuff off of your chinsky.

Lewinsky and Clinton have shown,
what Kaczynsky must surely have known:
that an intern is better
than a bomb in a letter
given the choice to be blown.

There was a young girl called Lewinsky,
Who caused as much stir as Kaczynsky
When on Kenneth Starr's lap
she confided, when trapped,
"Bill Clinton is hung like Nijinsky"*.

(*Nijinsky is a thoroughbred racehorse not to be confused with the ballet dancer.)

There once was a tart named Lewinsky
Who was strokin' the ole' Presidentsky
Whined his aides, "She might tell!"
Soothed the Prez, "What the Hell
Have her open that box from Kaczynsky"

"You're too old," said the Prez to Lewinsky
"I'd prefer young Tara Lipinsky"
Wailed Monica, "No!
I feel like a 'ho'!
Guess I'll have to go back to Kaczynski"

With apologies to the Swedish Chef:

Zeere-a oonce-a ves a gurl nemed Looeenski
Vhu leeed ebuoot a Preseedentiel chooeenski
Iff Sterr gets hees vey
Und she-a vun't betrey
She'll be-a suun sheckeen' up veet Keczynskee
She'll be-a suun sheckeen' up veet Keczynskee

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