The Wheel Series

Soon after The Extreme Bad Poetry Society was thrust into existence as an email based entity, our web-host attempted to bribe the list members into not allowing more bad poetry IF the members would only supply him with alloy wheels for his automobile. The reaction was instantaneous and harsh...

Gillis' Friction Addiction, in the classic Irish form of A-A-B-B-A rhyme gave this submission a head up on other submissions. It is re-published below:

Friction Addiction

Zimmy's bad prose
We easily can dispose
but the Kanas addiction
for expensive round friction
Is easy for us to suppose.

This was immediately followed up with a new poem, complete with misspellings.

The Treasured Wheel

Zimmy's criteque makes me ponder
wonder, no think
about the wheels Kanas might want
for Porsche or Nissan
Cry, Cry Kanas

The Toad Responds

Finally, Kanas was forced to issue a rebuttal

Driven to Distraction

I would never have guessed
as I drove to the west
to provide Zimmie with bad prose

That he would see fit
(while in his office he does sit)
clogging internet bandwidth with mail

Gillis has created a fiction
claims I have an addiction;
He simply cannot comprehend

Wheels I require
as I deeply aspire
to drive with skill and finesse

I don't want to abruptly brake
on Georgetown's frozen lake
and slither about wildly out of control

The pylons I'll adroitly avoid
and the competition annoy
Oh thank you little black balls of friction.

There will be no tears
maybe several micro-beers
when I prevail in my intellectual endeavor

This submission in the Wheel Series is my own

Nightmare Below the Georgetown Loop, a Lesson in Morality

Jon-boy may claim to aspire to acquire,
A touch on the wheel with pedal depressed.
That wond'ring eyes may soon inspire
The multitudes to see who's been finessed.

For upon Summit County's ponderous lake,
With steel esconced wheels the Nissan will wallow
As the wheel for steering begins to shake
The pride of Kanas will soon be swallowed.

Yea! though he aim for a distant shore,
Whose tree lined beach of sand awaits,
Upon the ice no traction of yore -
Instead of gas, he's hit the brakes!

The death of Toad's favorite automobile, his beloved Nissan, caused him to go out and obtain a Chrysler, Oops!, Mercedes Benz station wagon

Toad's Mercedes

My apologies to Janice......

Oh Lord, won't you buy Toad a Mercedes Benz!
Has plenty of Porsches, His Nissan won't mend!
His arrogance is about right now, too acidic with his friends!
Oh Lord, won't you buy Toad a Mercedes Benz!

Oh Lord, why'd you buy Toad a Mercedes Benz!
Has plenty of Porsches, has much fewer friends!
He's bragged all of his life time, doesn't need more to gloat!
Oh Lord, why'd you buy Toad a Mercedes Benz!

Think Not Of Chrysler

I do not own a Chrysler car
I did not buy one, Robert knows
and yet he tells you, from afar
That I have bought a Chrysler car.

He lies, I say, He tells a fib
It makes me mad he is so glib
He knows that what he says is bad,
he should be spanked by his dad

I know he will scheme and plot
to sneak onto the parking lot
and pilfer my three pointed star
from the front of my new car

he'll replace my pilfered star
with symbols from a lesser car
He'll dance about with glee and joy
so impressed with his ability to annoy...

Listen not to Robert Z
myths are what he speaketh to thee
You are smart, I know you are
Listen not to Robert from afar

Toad's cubicle mate knew of zimmie's fascination with aeronautical machinery, and managed to wheedle the use of a propeller for a Halloween costume party for Porsches.

Snoopy vs The Red Porsche

A long time ago,
When dogs could fly,
A car took to the air
With no oil blow by.

The wings were were of no decent construction
But the fight that ensued was of great destruction.
So Snoopy drove a Benz into the blue
And the 944 went after you know who.

On his tail, The Porsche did gain,
An the poor doghouse Benz went down in flames,
So Snoopy was beaten by the bright red Porsche
And Warren went home with First Place, of course.

Warren's 944
Warren's 944 Won First Place For Costuming
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